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Negotiating My Weight

I knew it had been too long since the last time I had a medical check up. My last visit to the doctor that was not to an urgent care was about eight years ago. I know better than to wait that long between visits, but who cares?

That question was answered recently by Candace who urged me to be more proactive about my health. Usually I do not concern myself with the opinions of other people, but I do concern myself with what my daughters, granddaughters, and Linda think.

It had been so long since my last visit that the VA had given away my spot with a doctor at the American Lake clinic. That meant being put on a waiting list, and having to go to Seattle until a spot opens up for me at the closer clinic.

March 9th was my date. I got registered and waited my turn. Soon, a lovely lady named Anita called me with a common mispronunciation of my name. After getting the correct pronunciation, she told me to get on the scales.

The negotiation was on.

"Can I just tell you how much I think I weigh?"

She told me I could, but I would still need to step on the scale.

"I’ve seen some places weigh people in kilograms. I think you should measure my weight in kilograms," was my next attempt to make my weight appear better.

She was not sympathetic to that plea, either. "Just get on the scales," she told me.

I did. I did not like what the scales said I weighed, so I tried one more time to negotiate my weight.

"Before you write it down, do you know how much a million dollars weighs?"

She admitted that she did not know. I suggested we should calculate that and deduct it from my weight.

She asked me, "Do you have a million dollars on you?"

"I don’t know," I said. "I haven’t checked my Lotto ticket yet."

She barely smiled as she wrote down exactly what the scales said I weigh.

She had me follow her to an examination room where she was equally unwilling to negotiate my blood pressure despite her appearing friendly, gentle, and professional.

Some other things I've written about: 

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